Review: The New Adventures of McGee and: The Blooper Years
The fine people at Focus on the Family haven't exclusively been dedicated to spreading their version of Wahhabism across the country; in the 90s they tried to get into the TV show racket which I thought was called "McGee and Me", but from my screencap appears to have oddly just been called "McGee and".
The episode starts off with the main character, who I think is named Burl, having a conversation with his imaginary friend McGee who says "watch where you stick that pencil", right before having his clothing erased off. Nick (I guess his name wasn't Burl) tells him he's excited that the Coolest kid in his class, Rex Rogers, is going to be coming by to groom him, I mean "to teach him to be cool". Rex appears and Nick is like "gulp", as a sleazy guitar line plays which usually connotates horniness.
Rex is like "what is with all this kid's stuff like cartooning, and your Bible, but he reads the Bible and is like "Man looketh on the outward appearence, hell yeah, that's cool as hell". But then McGee shows the Bible and there was more to the verse, as well as some cool crazy fonts!
At dinner, after making everyone hold hands while they pray, the Dad announces that him and Nick's mom came up with the idea of a Battle of the Bands when they were in the 8th Grade, so the school is going to have them come back to host it this year, Rex says "sounds like an Endless Bummer".
Then there is what is clearly supposed to have been some sort of animated interstitial where McGee is surfing, but they didn't have enough money for the animation so it's just an exterior shot of the house while McGee talks and yells "whoa!" with water sound effects.
Rex tells Nick that he's got to stop buying his clothes at Geeks 'R Us, which is another sign that the budget was a bit lower for these episodes, and they had to resort to product placement. Then he gives Nick a pair of sunglasses so he can be cool and is like "I always keep a spare pair". It's quite nice of him really, especially as he says designer labels are important, so they're probably pretty nice expensive sunglasses. Nick looks in the mirror and says "Totally non-geeky" which is a pretty cool thing to say, and Rex agrees, and Nick's off to school with his new look, which is to wear a vest and sunglasses.
Unfortunately for Nick's plans to be cool, his nerd friend, a tiny boy who always appears on the verge of tears starts bugging him in the hall. "Want to go to the computer show, I hear they've got some really cool anti-viruses" he says, obviously talking out his ass and trying to pretend to be someone he's not. Nick says "Catch you later", and Poindexter gets super offended. "DUDE?!?" He is clearly a fake friend who just loves drama. Nick is wise to get rid of that kind of negativity in his life.
Poindexter is joined by a couple of Nick's other old friends who start talking shit about him and criticize his clothes, and call his new friends "Ken and Barbie" even though they wear mostly black and are both brunettes, while the girl making fun of them is blonde. In the next scene this girl makes passive aggressive comments about his clothes, and then gets all huffy when he sasses her back. Then he blows off the quarterback of the football team to hang out with his cool friends(?) It rules that the version of Bad Popular kids in this world is "anyone who dresses different".
Nick gives his sunglasses back to Rex after Rex suggests they go sneak into "the flicks" later, and the bully, watching from like 20 feet away says "Way to go Nick". McGee reappears and then drives a tiny car onto the stage while the band is playing and crashes into the drums, but no one notices. And then Nick goes back to his "Real Friends" who only like him if he doesn't use slang. They allow him to sit with them, but they make him sit on the floor like a damn dog.
Then when his parents are done playing, while the audience is going apeshit cheering, Nick bravely decides to go give his parents a hug and get some of their glory. The End!
The episode starts off with the main character, who I think is named Burl, having a conversation with his imaginary friend McGee who says "watch where you stick that pencil", right before having his clothing erased off. Nick (I guess his name wasn't Burl) tells him he's excited that the Coolest kid in his class, Rex Rogers, is going to be coming by to groom him, I mean "to teach him to be cool". Rex appears and Nick is like "gulp", as a sleazy guitar line plays which usually connotates horniness.
Rex is like "what is with all this kid's stuff like cartooning, and your Bible, but he reads the Bible and is like "Man looketh on the outward appearence, hell yeah, that's cool as hell". But then McGee shows the Bible and there was more to the verse, as well as some cool crazy fonts!
Then they go to eat dinner and Rex starts hitting on Nick's sister and says "In 18 months I'll be hitting freshman class, let's get together and make some memories".
She isn't having any of that, and she says "Sure do you want to pick me up or have your mommy drop you off here", and he is like "Excellent!" which I have to admit made me chuckle, it's not the greatest joke ever, but the actors made it work.
Then there is what is clearly supposed to have been some sort of animated interstitial where McGee is surfing, but they didn't have enough money for the animation so it's just an exterior shot of the house while McGee talks and yells "whoa!" with water sound effects.
Rex tells Nick that he's got to stop buying his clothes at Geeks 'R Us, which is another sign that the budget was a bit lower for these episodes, and they had to resort to product placement. Then he gives Nick a pair of sunglasses so he can be cool and is like "I always keep a spare pair". It's quite nice of him really, especially as he says designer labels are important, so they're probably pretty nice expensive sunglasses. Nick looks in the mirror and says "Totally non-geeky" which is a pretty cool thing to say, and Rex agrees, and Nick's off to school with his new look, which is to wear a vest and sunglasses.
Unfortunately for Nick's plans to be cool, his nerd friend, a tiny boy who always appears on the verge of tears starts bugging him in the hall. "Want to go to the computer show, I hear they've got some really cool anti-viruses" he says, obviously talking out his ass and trying to pretend to be someone he's not. Nick says "Catch you later", and Poindexter gets super offended. "DUDE?!?" He is clearly a fake friend who just loves drama. Nick is wise to get rid of that kind of negativity in his life.
Poindexter is joined by a couple of Nick's other old friends who start talking shit about him and criticize his clothes, and call his new friends "Ken and Barbie" even though they wear mostly black and are both brunettes, while the girl making fun of them is blonde. In the next scene this girl makes passive aggressive comments about his clothes, and then gets all huffy when he sasses her back. Then he blows off the quarterback of the football team to hang out with his cool friends(?) It rules that the version of Bad Popular kids in this world is "anyone who dresses different".
It cuts to Nick at home getting mad that his mom wants to wash his shirt that he spilled ketchup on, but he says he wants to do it himself. What an asshole! Then he gets into a fight with his imaginary friend and says "Who ever gave you the right to tell me what to do?!?" which is an unreasonable question to ask a hallucination in my opinion. Just do what the voices tell you to, no matter what!
"Cartoons aren't cool, cartoons are for kids!" shouts Nick, not realizing that at that time, a VERY cool style of cartoons was becoming available on VHS in the US...a little genre of film called hentai. McGee lies down on a pad of paper, cries, and fades away, back to his home dimension, Hell.
Cut to Nick's parents dressed in wacky costumes. Can you believe it? "What you don't want to be seen with half of the Mamas and the Papas?" says Dad, in what is probably a cruel dig at his wife's weight. What a jerk! Nick tells them he doesn't want them to go saying "Everyone will laugh at me on Monday, saying 'there goes the son of the world's oldest...teenyboppers".
At the dance Nick is hanging out with his new friends, and one of the cool girls says that one of Nick's old friends looks like Little Miss Muffet. Then Cool Rex takes a marker and writes "GEEK" on the locker of Nick's tiny nerd friend who is love with anti-viruses and wants to marry and anti-virus when he grows up. Probably a reference to getting "geeked up", ie getting totally messed up on pills. Let the little nerd do his drugs man, this is apparently a straight edge squad, explaining why earlier Rex had talked about getting "sodas", instead of something cool to drink, like a bottle of Crown Royal.
Poindexter immediately goes to his locker and sees the graffiti, even though it is night time and an extracurricular event, probably so messed up from taking Molly for 4 days straight he doesn't even know what year it is. Then Rex tells Nick that buying tickets is bullshit, and they are going to sneak in the side way to the school dance, which is legit a super cool thing to do.
Next the school bully (?) grabs Nick and shoves him into another room and says "what are you hanging out with those losers for?" He says "this isn't who you are!", it is very confusing.
Now it's time for the Battle of the Bands to start! But first, Nick's Dad is going to give a little sermon. All the kids look at him in awe, as he yammers on about how important Junior High is to the rest of your life and other hogwash. Then he pulls out his saxophone and plays an incredibly shitty song which the children also love, and gives Nick a flashback to when he blew off that nerd earlier. At one point the girl singing yells "You're not cool, nobody wears sunglasses to math any way!" Nick decides to go tell Rex to go jump in a lake, but first Rex says "Your dad blows a pretty mean 'phone for a fossil!" and Nick agrees "Yeah, he is pretty good." Because the year is 1995, and that's what the kids are into.
Nick gives his sunglasses back to Rex after Rex suggests they go sneak into "the flicks" later, and the bully, watching from like 20 feet away says "Way to go Nick". McGee reappears and then drives a tiny car onto the stage while the band is playing and crashes into the drums, but no one notices. And then Nick goes back to his "Real Friends" who only like him if he doesn't use slang. They allow him to sit with them, but they make him sit on the floor like a damn dog.
Then when his parents are done playing, while the audience is going apeshit cheering, Nick bravely decides to go give his parents a hug and get some of their glory. The End!
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